Let me guess: you said “Don’t know” At least once today.
Maybe it was when your colleague asked how he should deal with that difficult customer.
Or when your child asked what was before dinner (and grain did not feel any confident enough answer).
Or – more than not – maybe it was when you asked yourself a big question like:
Do I actually want to keep doing this work?
What kind of summer do I want for my family?
Am I happy?
And your brain responded immediately with … “Don’t know.”
If this sounds familiar, you are not the only one. Saying “I don’t know” is one of those disposable sentences that we add to buy ourselves more time to think. To postpone or postpone something on the spot to think of something.
But although it may seem harmless, it might cost you something.
The hidden impact of “I don’t know”
One of my customers shared something in a recent session that both stopped us in our tracks after I pointed out how often she said the expression “I don’t know”. She said:
“After you have demonstrated that on me, I realized that I don’t know ‘I don’t know’. And it’s not that I not Know … it’s that I don’t trust myself to have the right answer. “
Cue the deep ademmoment.
How often have you used ‘I don’t know’ as a buffer between the question and the discomfort to make a decision? Between the truth and the risk of getting it “wrong”? Between your own inner knowing and the fear that perhaps, perhaps, it is not right?
When we say, “I don’t know,” we keep ourselves safe – but small.
We avoid failure – but also clarity.
We postpone a move – and remain stuck in the meantime.
Why working mothers say it so often
If you juggle a career, a house and a family, with 47 mental tabs open in one go, it makes sense that you might “I don’t know”. You have drawn so many directions that the idea to make another decision can feel … impossible.
Decision fatigue is real. Emotional work is real. And the pressure to get it right (What that also means) feels heavier if you are also responsible for the well -being of small people.
So when your boss asks you to take the lead in a new project, and your partner wants to talk about travel plans, and your child melts about a broken muesli bar, it is no wonder that your brain is emptied.
But here is the truth:
You Doing know.
Maybe you need time to dig under the sound.
You may need support or space or more information to get there.
But you know.
What to try instead
If you notice this pattern in your own life, this is what I want you to try:
1. Replace “I don’t know” by “let me think about it.”
This simple shift keeps the door open. It acknowledges you shall Find an answer – you only need a minute. It builds self -confidence instead of closing it.
2. Ask yourself: “If I am held You know what could be the answer? “
It sounds crazy, but this one question has brought so many women into their own strength. It bypasses the panic and carefully invites curiosity.
3. Note when you Doing Know – and celebrate it.
You may have decided not to sign up for that weekend obligation, even if you felt pressure. Perhaps you have chosen a kindergarten, which is delegated to work task or planned a deducted summer. Let that evidence accumulate.
Because every time you recognize your own voice and honor it, you strengthen the truth: You are wise. You are able. And you know more than you think.
A soft memory
If you are in a season of life, where you feel that you constantly know everything about the second councils this:
It doesn’t mean you are broken. It means you wear a lot. And somewhere along the way you may have learned that your voice does not matter as much as others. That it is safer to remain uncertain than running the risk of choosing something that you cannot take back.
But you can unlearn that.
You can hear yourself again.
You can trust that you already have so many answers you are looking for.
So the next time you are about to say: “I don’t know”, pause.
Breathe in.
Make a beat.
Take your way back.
Because you know.