As a working mother you are no strangers in the Juggling act. In between managing your career, family responsibilities and daily life, it can feel like you have a constant treadmill, but never gets ahead. There are days when the weight of it all feels overwhelming. Maybe you had the thought:
“Life would be easier if I didn’t work.”
Perhaps you are in the middle of school closures and sick children while e -mails and deadlines accumulate at work. Maybe you feel that you are dropping the ball at home, trust picking up for dinner and the washing landing to the wash. It is easy to fantasize about a life where you don’t feel so split. Where you could concentrate in one area of life instead of constantly distributing your attention. A life where you didn’t have to feel the stress to juggle everything.
Do you have to stay or do you have to stop?
It is a very real, very recognizable struggle for many working mothers. I would claim that almost each of us was at this intersection at some time. Because it is the question that arises when we are overworked, undervalued or just feel tired. When the work becomes a burden and parenthood feels like a side issue, stopping can look like the easiest solution. But before you make drastic decisions, it is worth asking yourself: What do I really want?
Take a step back
I’ve been there myself. As a life coach for working mothers, you may think I have always sorted it out. But I considered leaving my career twice. Yes, twice. I thought leaving my job would solve everything, especially during particularly tough weeks that I felt that I was short and work at home. But leaving would have meant more than just running away from the pressure-it would have been a life-changing decision.
So how did I make the decision to stay? To answer that, let me share a story from my childhood …
A lesson from childhood about deliberate decisions
When I was young, I took the art of color very seriously. I was meticulously staying in the lines and even used a tissue to buffer my colored pencil into a perfect shine. I even won a color match Where the price was a gift voucher for a local department store. I immediately knew what I wanted to spend it on – a turtletot turtle. It was a stuffed animal with a zipper that could double as a wallet. I was obsessed.
My parents, however, told me that I had to wait a week before I could buy it. Their reasoning? They wanted me to be sure that I really wanted that. They knew that my interests changed on a whim and they wanted me to get something that I would really play with. So after a week of anticipation and not hesitation about what I wanted, I finally got the turtle. And I thought it was great for a long time!
When I was confronted with the decision to leave my career and leave my job, that filled turtle came to mine. At the time of frustration, it is tempting to act impulsively, to think that stopping is the only way out. But just as waiting for the turtle, the better option is sometimes to pause and think.
The Crossroads Moment: My Own Career Struggle
Fast forward to that moment when my first child was about six months old. I had a job that required frequent travel, and there was in particular one trip that filled me with fear. I was about to leave for a business trip of two nights and to be the thought of my family, in addition to dealing with the backlog of the work I would be confronted on return, I felt unbearable. It was at this time that I thought Maybe I just have to stop.
If I stopped, I wouldn’t have to travel. I should not leave my family. I should not feel all this fear.
So I started to consider the financial implications of life in a single income and imagined what my life would look like if I were at home full -time. I even had a conversation with my husband. I shared my frustration, my desire to leave, and he asked me, Is that what you really want? It was a simple question, but it stopped me in my tracks.
Did I want to cancel my job and stay at home? Or did I just want to stop feeling this way?
Ask to ask yourself when you are confronted with a career intersection
If you are struggling with a similar decision – whether you want to stay or stop – here are a few important questions that you can answer to help you get clarity:
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Do you want something on the other side of the change?
Are you looking for a new job, a different schedule or the chance to be home more often? Or do you just want lighting of how you feel now – overwhelming, angry or apathetic?
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What do you really want?
It is easy to concentrate on what you don’t want, but take the time to paint an image of your ideal scenario. What does it look like? And ask yourself: Could you achieve that without applying a career change?
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What are the costs of this change?
Every decision has its costs. If you stay in your current situation, what does you cost in terms of mental health, family life or overall well -being? If you leave, which sacrifices are you going to make financially or emotionally?
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Is it possible that you can make this change and continue to feel the same feelings?
It is a difficult question to ask, but think about it: Could you give a change to make you feel in the same way as you do now? Sometimes a new job or new role does not solve the underlying problem and you can be back in the same place.
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Have you considered all possible solutions?
A change does not always mean stopping. Is there a way to make your current job work better for you? Can another schedule, role or team relieve part of your stress without starting again? What ideas do you have?
Trust yourself
Ultimately, you can trust that you make the best decision with the information you have. And you don’t have to find it alone if you don’t want to. Working with a coach can help you explore your options and make a better informed decision, whether stopping, changing jobs or finding ways to make your current situation more manageable.
Remember that everything is changeable. You are able to adjust, find solutions and let your career and family life work for you. I did it myself and I helped hundreds of other working mothers to navigate with similar intersections. Whether you decide to stay, leave or change things, trust that you can make the right choice for you and your family.