The media frames money as ‘sexy’, writes investment expert Andrew Baxter.
Think sailing the Mediterranean, fast cars and French champagne.
But talking with your partner about money and ways to ensure you always have enough of it is considered the ultimate turn off.
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Most couples will experience a degree of money-related stress at some point of their journey together.
If left unresolved, that stress can fester toward a breaking point and a sad parting of ways.
One in six Australians had been in a relationship dissolved because of financial issues, according to a 2024 survey by Finder.
But the root of the cause is not money alone.
A lack of communication is the sugar-free mixer which turns this cocktail poisonous.
That’s why ‘money date nights’ might just save your marriage, while saving you dollars.
What are ‘money date nights’?
Many couples schedule a regular date night to keep their magic alive.
No-one is advocating a chat about weekly budgets or questioning the cost of your wife’s new dress while sharing a larp at your neighbourhood’s fab new Thai restaurant.
But regular, mature dialogue with your partner about your financial affairs is a very effective prophylactic – the kind that could save you from the termination of your relationship.
It’s really just about trust, mutual respect and ensuring you are both on the same page.
In a healthy partnership, there should be no secrets, especially when it comes to money.
Money date nights have become a crucial part of life for my wife and I, especially as we raise our five young children in a very busy household!
What does a money date night look like?
Try not to make your money chats too formal or structured.
As I write in my book The Wealth Playbook, money date nights should be casual conversations where both parties are on an equal footing rather than one preaching to the other.
For couples who find talking about money particularly awkward or who have a history of money challenges, scheduling semi-regular chats about the family’s finances is a great idea.
And it’s so much more palatable than receiving an inflammatory text with an angry-face emoji.
Talking about money is a proactive opportunity to nip problems in the bud before they manifest.
About once a month is usually a good starting point.
You don’t need to obsess about your finances but simply appreciate that they can’t be ignored.
Okay, it’s not your typical ‘date’ as such – there’s no fancy restaurant or movie, or not usually anyway.
It more likely looks like a comfy chat around the table, maybe after dinner with a glass of red on a Monday night, the unsexiest night of the week!
Try to make sure there are no distractions so you can both focus on the task at hand and make it as quick and painless as possible – phones on silent, kids in bed, that kind of stuff.
What should you talk about on a money date night?
Establish it as an open and honest forum where you can both raise anything that needs to be discussed.
It could be ensuring there is enough money in your savings account in what looms as an expensive week, to guard against falling victim to those nasty bank overdraft fees.
You might want to discuss the concept of you or your partner entering a salary sacrifice agreement at work to supercharge your super, or getting educated on investing in the share market.
Or you might just want to raise the idea of shopping around for a better home or car insurance deal, phone or internet plan or maybe float culling a couple of streaming services which are no longer proving value for money.
For those who are already facing more challenging money issues, it’s a great time to plan ahead and account for every dollar so there are no nasty surprises come the end of the month.
Couples who are more comfortable talking about money probably already do so whenever need be and that’s fantastic.
Money date nights shouldn’t be considered a burden but rather an opportunity to plot your financial successes and toast them when they materialise.
For some, simply meeting the family budget with some change spare is a major victory.
It is every bit as worthy of recognition as deciding to renovate a bathroom, take an overseas holiday or buy a holiday house by the beach.
And most importantly, it is an achievement that you celebrate together.
Andrew Baxter is an investment coach, leading trader and Dad. He’s the author of best selling book, The Wealth Playbook: Your Ultimate Guide To Financial Security, and founder of Australia’s top trading education platform, Australian Investment Education.