Last week, after a particularly difficult morning with the children, I walked home after school with tears in my eyes.
I was physically tired. Rage around, packing lunches, filling water bottles, holding hands and sweeping tears takes a toll.
But I was even more spiritual tired.
-
From trying to calm my kindergarten when he cried, afraid of the dental X -ray machine.
-
From taking care of my daughter after a really annoying fall that had let me ask if she had broken something.
-
And by getting my youngest through the school door when he held up and did not want me to leave.
All this (and more) and it was not even 9:30 am !!!
At that time I would have kept nothing more than curling on the couch with a cup of tea and escape in my latest novel novel.
But that is not real life.
Real life means that there is still work to be done, customers to see, see deadlines, and pages of to-dos to fill.
So how do you recently and do you concentrate on what needs to be done if you have had a tough parenting experience or go through a challenging season?
How do you not let the other parts of your life overshadow that influence your focus and productivity?
Well, in my life before I coach, I would have rushed to my office, have been driven on the laptop and started checking things from the list.
After all, there is no time to waste.
You may feel that you have no choice but the same thing to do. To get to work as quickly as possible. To put the morning behind you and turn on.
But what happens are those feelings that will continue to run the repetition of the morning in the background of your mind like a TV behind the bar or in the waiting room of the airport.
Maybe you might not be actively watching it, but you to belong It.
You sneak a glimpse of and occasionally you catch yourself distracted by a head or a funny commercial.
Not tackling what happened will be a slow leak for your productivity and focus.
Not to mention the fact that those unsolved feelings – the anger, frustration, overwhelming or sorrow – will eventually come true.
-
Maybe with your children when you pick them up and they whine or argue.
-
Maybe with your partner in the evening when he soaks a pot in the sink instead of washing.
-
Maye with your colleague or a customer when they ask too many questions.
It feels contraindic and frankly simply very difficult to pause instead of hurrying to the next.
I mean, you already have the feeling that you don’t have enough time. The rest of life does not stop because you are going through a difficult season or had a particularly tough morning.
But your break can only be a few seconds if that is all you have.
Just long enough to do two things:
-
Recognize what happens and how you feel.
-
Check in to hear what you need.
In the same way as you can raise a toddler to find the words for how they feel, we can do the same for ourselves.
Just a moment to acknowledge and validate that you are angry or frustrated and you feel defeated, can be everything you need to accept and continue with your day.
From there check-in. I realized in that morning that I hadn’t had my Mushrooms coffee Yet I urgently needed only 5 minutes quiet before I started working.
Maybe you need some food or water. Maybe just deep breath where you shrug your shoulders. Maybe you can use some music, a quick walk around the parking lot, or to bend forward and stretch out in a fast down down down.
Shifting a chaotic morning or by thinking about a challenging season in your life to work mode can be shocking.
Taking 60 seconds, 5 minutes or 10 minutes if you have it, to prepare yourself mentally by recognizing where you were and asking what you need now, can make a difference in the question of whether you have the energy and focus on what needs to be done now.
Sometimes coaching is about logistics, the schedule and the task list – how you fit things in an efficient way in your busy life.
And sometimes it is about shifting perspective, pausing in the midst of chaos and acknowledging that parts of this are difficult. But you do it.
And doing with support can make the difference.