As a working mother you probably know the feeling all too well: there is never enough time. Whether it is in a hurry in the morning to get everyone out of the door, respond to work -E -emails on your phone while you wait for the water to boil or stay up to finish a project after the children slept -your days are packed to the edge.
But what if I told you that Do not have enough time Isn’t the real problem? What if the key to the feeling that you have enough time, has nothing to do with needing more hours in the day and has more to do with how you plant what you do in your day?
The myth that we tell ourselves: there is never enough time
For years I believed the same thing: that there was just not enough time. After he became a mother, this conviction only increased. My task list quaded with children and no matter how hard I worked, there was always something (or many things) that was not done.
Things such as sports, spending quality time with my husband, or doing something fun for myself like knitting, reading or playing music, always seemed to fall along the road.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t busy. Exactly opposite – I constantly moved, constantly on the move. There was always something that had to be done.
The problem was not that I didn’t work hard enough. It was that I had not yet learned how I could manage my time effectively and make the right choices.
How I learned to make time for what really matters
When I became a mother for the second time and then third, I started to wonder if the problem was not a lack of time – but rather how I used the time I had used. I had to confront the truth: I made no intentional choices. My time was not spent in coordination with what really made me important.
When I looked at how I spent my days, it became clear: I prioritized things that were urgent, but not necessarily The things that I appreciated the most or that were the most important. I had to be honest with myself about what I did with my time, and whether those decisions really support life that I wanted to create.
Having clean clothes is important for me, for example, but that is how my health and moving my body. So why did the laundry consume my entire weekend and not going to take a walk? Similarly, although I wanted to be a present mother, I also allowed work and other obligations to fill all my free time, so I had little room for myself or my relationships. I had to evaluate again and again assign what my time earned.
Time is not the problem – it’s how we choose to spend it
Time is a finite source. Every day has the same 24 hours. But how do we choose to fill those hours? That is where the magic happens.
The key to the feeling that you have enough time is to learn how to make decisions that match your priorities.
What are the things in your life that matter the most? Does it have a peaceful morning routine? Spend Quality Time with your children? Take care of your health? Build your career? As soon as you know what is important to you, you can start by making deliberate decisions about how you can assign your time. You still have to assign some time to the things that just have to be done. But learning to assign something more to the things that matter the most will make such a difference.
Make decisions, no sacrifices
Many working mothers feel that they always sacrifice something. We often hear ourselves say “I just don’t have enough time for that,” As if the problem lies in the number of hours we have. But the truth is that we are not really lacking the time – we are missing clarity about what we want to prioritize.
You do not have to give up your career or your personal ambitions to have the feeling that you have enough time. Instead, you must be deliberately about what is going on in your schedule and what is not. It is about making conscious decisions about what you want to invest in your time. For example, if you want to prioritize fitness, you can decide to make a short yoga video on the floor while your baby is playing next to you. If you want to spend more time with your family, you can decide to refuse a meeting that is better off as an e -mail and to get that project ready, so that you do not have to stay too late or bring them home.
Create space for what is important
So, how can you create more space in your life without giving up the things that are important to you?
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Be honest about your priorities
Take a step back and think about what is really important to you. Do you concentrate on the things that match your long -term goals and values, or do you just respond to what is urgent at the moment? You may have to make difficult decisions, but if you are clear about your priorities, it will be easier to say no to things that are not of service to you. And I often think that when you give priority to your priorities, the other things are still being done, only in less time.
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Simplify where you can
Search for areas in your life where you can simplify. Do you have to perform all groceries yourself, or can you use a delivery service for groceries or outsource some household tasks? Maybe you don’t have to go to every social event or commit yourself to every work project. Simplification can give you valuable time.
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Move borders
Limits are crucial to effectively manage your time. By setting clear limits on working hours, time time and personal time, you can help protect your schedule and keep you focused on what is the most important thing. And when something that has to exceed boundaries, make it a deliberate choice or exception, instead of the standard.
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Feel comfortable with no
Saying no can be difficult, especially if you feel that you have to do everything. But the truth is, saying to everything means saying no to the things that are the most important. Be honest to yourself about what you can use realistic and learn to say no to things that do not match your priorities.
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Delegeer if possible
You don’t have to do everything yourself. Delegeer tasks at work, at home or even with your personal life. Whether it asks for help from your partner, hires someone to provide a specific task or teach the children to own a new job at home, delegation is a powerful tool to free up your time.
The truth: a lot of time is possible for working mothers
I know that for many of you, hearing about women who seem to have enough time can feel a bit out of reach. I get it – sometimes it feels like everyone succeeds in doing it all while you just try to keep your head above water. But the reality is that women who feel that they have enough time do not necessarily do less. They just learned how to make conscious decisions about what they spend their time on and how much they give to certain things. They first use their priorities and trust that the rest will fit or that it was not intended.
I have worked with working mothers who lead large organizations, manage demanding careers and raise children – and they still have the feeling that they have enough time. It’s not about magic, and it’s not a superhuman ability to do it all. It is about making the right choices and setting limits about what is the most important thing.
So the next time you catch yourself, you think: “There is just not enough time”, remember this: it is not about needing more hours of the day. It is about deciding what your time deserves. And you do not have to make drastic changes or to hire a personal assistant to make it happen. If you are clear about what is important, you will find that you have enough time for it – if you decide.